Phil's Story ~ Day 1

These blog posts were written when time allowed through the past few weeks. I wasn't able to start writing this all down for a quite a while, so they are written as best as I could remember. I will try to get caught up with everything that happened over the next few days.

SATURDAY, MARCH 28, 2015

I don’t even know where to begin. 3 days ago we were finishing up the last day of our spring break trip to Utah, and now I’m sitting in the surgical waiting room, anxiously waiting for Phil to be done with the 3rd surgery he’s had in the last three days. Saturday morning Phil woke up in our camper before everyone else to get an early start on a dirt bike ride with his brother Steve and friend Chatnz. It was the third and final ride of the trip. They told us that they would be back by noon and then we could all head over to a little lake or water hole to go swimming. By noon Jessica and I were getting a little irritated that they weren’t back and complaining that they probably stopped for lunch. I now kind of hate myself for thinking that, knowing that Phil was critically injured in a life flight helicopter, close to death.

We were just starting to get ready to head out without them, thinking they could meet up with us when they got back, when I got a phone call from a Colorado number. That was strange and normally I never answer my cell if I don’t know whom it’s from, but I just felt like I should. It was Steve. He informed me that Phil had been in a bad accident. At that moment my imagination would have never in million years thought it could have been so horrific an accident as it was. I still can’t think about what Phil experienced without getting short of breath and panicking for him. The cell phone reception was very poor and I had a hard time catching what Steve was saying. Through the broken words I could hear the panic, worry and tears in Steve’s voice, which alarmed me that this was very serious. I remember vividly pacing a few steps to by the fire and squatting down and asked him if Phil was going to die. I had to ask him several times because the reception was so bad. Looking back I feel terrible that I asked that question to Steve who had witnessed the whole accident and was sure Phil would be dead before he got to him. It would have been very unfair if he would have had to be the one to tell me that. Steve didn’t answer my question directly but said that he thought Phil had broken legs and a broken back but that he was stable when they took him on the helicopter. He then told me to leave everything and drive to, St. Mary’s Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Grand Junction, CO, a two hour drive from Moab. I hurried and grabbed my wallet, some water and a box of crackers, keeping in mind my pregnancy, and my phone and I jumped into the Calderwood’s truck, the only vehicle we had at our campsite.

I’m actually not sure how I managed to drive myself those two hours. Thinking back I must have been aided by angels and the spirit to help calm my soul and my physical body. Shortly on my way, I called my mom to let her know and to pass the terrible news, that doesn’t seem like quite a strong enough word, to my family. We needed as many prayers as we could get as soon as possible. Then I tried to call Jill, but she didn’t answer so I called Todd. The rest is a blur. I drove fast and arrived there within an hour and forty minutes. The person behind the desk at the emergency entrance took me back to Phil’s room. I didn’t get to see him, just saw the lumpy body shapes under a blanket surrounded by a swarm of medical staff either working on Phil or the equipment in the room. One of the paramedics (not part of the flight team) quickly hurried me out of the room to a tiny, what felt like a closet, room with a couch. She sat me down and explained that she didn’t have too much time to talk because they needed to act quickly to help Phil, but told me they were taking him to Interventional Radiology and that he was still in pretty bad shape. She said he wasn’t stable but once they could get control over the bleeding that should help. Then she got me a drink and went back to work on Phil. 

I’m sure that everyone who saw me felt even worse for what was happening. I didn’t have any hair, no make up, and was slightly sunburned. I looked pretty bad. I wished that I looked better. I wanted to look better for Phil. I wanted these people to see the beautiful life and love that we shared. I wanted them to see his beauty and strength through me. But that probably didn’t really matter.

I’m not sure what I did after she left. I don’t remember sobbing like I wanted to. Maybe I was in shock. I did keep feeling like I would wake up and it would all just be a terrible, the worst kind of nightmare I’ve ever had. It couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening, not to me and definitely not to Phil. He’s too strong and our life is too good to have this kind of tragedy.

The doctor, Dr. Craig Anderson, who was the trauma surgeon, came and spoke to me a couple of different times. Before he went back to IR, Dr. Anderson informed me that blood was not getting to his feet and that the internal bleeding should be able to be stopped, but that there are people who have died from internal bleeding. He said that the orthopedic team would also be with Phil in IR and that they would try to solve the circulation issue. He said that both the arteries were blocked, pinched off by the bones or that they could be ruptured. Either way there is only one artery in each leg that provides blood to the leg and it is necessary to get that flow back if we wanted to save Phil’s legs. That information was tough to hear but the shock made it hard to comprehend.

I also had no cell phone service in that room. So I had to just sit there with only thoughts of Phil possibly losing his feet or even his life. Looking back, it didn’t seem to take too long before I was getting another update saying that IR had been able to identify ruptured bloods vessels and they were confident in their success in controlling the bleeding. The orthopedic team was also successful in restoring some blood flow. The left leg had more flow than the right since his ankle fracture was so serious and blocking the vessels in his foot. I was told that there are three vessels that branch off into the foot and you only need one to keep the foot alive. And Phil had that, just one. It was a relief to hear that he was more stable and that they were finally able to resuscitate him. They then sent me upstairs to a bigger waiting room while they settled him in to a room in the ICU. Part of me wishes that I could have stayed in that little hole. The waiting took forever. And everrrrrrrrr. Some good friends of Roy’s, Gordon Harker and his wife, came in looking for Phil to give him a blessing. It was really great to have them there because there was no one to talk to and while I may have not done a whole lot of talking, but they were chatty and it was good distraction. 

Finally I was able to go back and see Phil. 

(This picture is actually post surgery to put the stabilizing rods in)

It was at that moment that I started to realize how bad of shape Phil was in and everything started sinking in. I stood by his bedside when I could, when I wasn’t in the way, there were still a lot of doctors and nurses hovering and I was glad for a few of the moments when I was in the way. It gave me an opportunity to sit down, stop my spinning head and queasy tummy. Being in my first trimester definitely didn’t help. The nurses were really sweet and brought my juice and snacks. When things settled down I just pulled up chair next to Phil's bed and sat with a blanket around me and Phil's hand in mine.

After a couple of hours Todd arrived and it was wonderful to have some family. Wonderful for me and wonderful for Phil. Their plan was to take Phil back to surgery to straighten and stabilize his legs. It was going to take a few hours so I asked Todd to drive me to Target to get some clothes, a cell charger a few other necessities. Then we grabbed a bit to eat and headed back to the hospital. Then again, we waited forever. While we were waiting a sweet soul and angel came and found us with lots of snacks and food. It was awesome and the food was definitely consumed over time. It was a friend of a friend of Amy’s visiting teacher. It was such a sweet example of the love and sisterhood that we all share being members of the church.

When surgery was over we were allowed back upstairs and into the ICU with Phil, of course with another very long wait. His legs looked brutal with the stabilizing rods and the traction pulling on his hip, but he at least he was there and still stable. The night continued on and Todd left to get some rest. I stayed and slept on the chair or sat by Phil’s bed praying that he would be able to stay stable enough for transport to Utah the next day. One time in the night his blood pressure dropped super low and it took about an hour to get it to rise. It was the lowest point in the night because Phil was in pain and they couldn’t give him any more pain meds because of his blood pressure. The rest of the night was pretty calm and he remained stable. I was just so hopeful that he had done well enough for transfer.

FACEBOOK UPDATES

§  1:57 AM ~ I wanted to give an update on Phil and let everyone know that he's hanging in there. For anyone who hasn't heard, Phil was in dirt biking accident earlier today while we were camping in Moab Utah with some friends. He fell off a cliff that put him in critical condition. While we are all so incredibly grateful that his injuries aren't worse and that's he's fighting, he still remains in the ICU in critical condition. Phil's brother and friend were able to act quickly to get help and he was life flighted to St Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado. After a CT scan they found that all of his injuries were from the waist down. As he recovers the doctors will watch for more. He sustained injuries to both legs and his pelvis, which caused a lot of internal bleeding and made him unstable for a while. He also lost circulation in both legs below the breaks. Intervention Radiology was able to identify the blood vessels which were bleeding, clotted them to stop it and gave him 8 pints of blood. At the same time orthopedic surgeons tried to move bones back into place to free space for the arteries in his legs, which was also successful and meant he could go from Trauma to the ICU. He was finally stable at that time, but still slightly sedated and intubated. I was able to be with him for a time and he was coherent and communicated by spelling letters with his finger on his sheet. Around 6:30 they took Phillip for surgery to set pins and secure and set both his legs and pelvis in place. Since then he has been sedated and resting well. We are hoping that if he remains stable through the night he will be flown to Salt Lake to be near a specialist to work on his pelvis. From what I understand this recovery will be very long for Phil. My heart keeps breaking for him every time I think about how hard it will be for him over the next several months. But then I keep telling myself that I'm so glad he's alive and gets the chance to fight. While he is still in critical condition I'm optimistic that he will pull through all this and have a full recovery in time. I have been overwhelmed by the support and love that has already been expressed. Two wards in teton valley will be fasting for Phil tomorrow as well as family and friends. If there is anyone who would like to join in please feel free. I would be so grateful. We have felt the power of prayer and fasting and our burden lightened before with Brewer. I know that with our Heavenly Fathers help and everyone's prayers and well wishes, we will feel that again and we will be able to face each day. Thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. I will try to update in the morning with any new information.